Little bird may I spend some time with you today
and see life as it's passing along your way
You are so carefree and you're always singing
The air is sweetened by the songs you're briging.
Little bird you're first to greet the newborn day;
When you are singing, what words do you say?
Are you singing of the cool refreshing night
Or just saying thank you for the morning light?
Little bird, how does it feel flying up so high?
What are you thinking as you are passing by?
Are you feeling llike you don't have a single care?
What does it feel like sharing secrets with the air?
Little bird, your life is so simple and carefree
Thank you for taking time to share it with me
I am always looking forward each and every day
To the songs you're singing along the way
Hello Joy,
ReplyDeleteHow are you today? I'm praying for you. I like the poem you have here "Little Bird". It takes me to something I wrote about dancing. I like dancing, all types. I have imagine myself dancing on the moon, just me and musical instruments playing the most melodious sounds and beats. Now I can't seem to go to that place anymore, I can't seem to hear the music. I think maybe I'm stuck in this reality and don't want to face what's right before my eyes. I've lost hope in trusting. I don't know what to do with it but give to God. I don't know if I'm making any sense or not...How is therapy for you? May I ask you what made you decide to go to therapy? I don't feel well Joy. I feel like I'm floating away and I don't want to come back... I left a message to someone who hurt me deeply. He did something really kind for a group of people. It was so kind it almost brought me to tears. So I left him a message of appreciation. How can it be Joy that someone can be kind and yet do such mean things...Thank you for the poem. I hope I didn't take up too much of your time reading this.
HI Riri.. I like to dance too .and sometimes I just dance around with my cat gabrielle..if I dance softly, she doesnt mind.
ReplyDeleteTherapy is so very good.. I love my T.. she is the kindest person in the world.. answer to my many prayers..Sometimes Therapy is what one needs. .and other times what one wants..we talked about needs and wants..this past session a little bit..
Sometimes we learn things about ourselves we didnt know and maybe dont want to but its so important to know. and sometimes we are spoiled just to have someone to hear us understand us . that is a blessing to have someone help us figure things out and help us heal and help us decide whats the best path in situations..T is helping me immensely! ..
I decided I needed therapy when I got hurt again in my adult life.. I am afraid to stick up for me and llittle me and so i Was taken advantage of.. I never was given the right tools so I am hoping with the help of T to make them or get them some how.. or learn to cope with out them.. I am still being hurt . .like by the corrupt lawyer by people online. ..because I need to make better boundaries..
I am putting a filter for tha bad lawyers email and am making sure to steer clear of bad people on th net..
I am broken Riri. I don't know myself who am I . .i need help sorting out all the stuff I have been told from the real true stuff so I can live a better life..
All that T helps me with in Therapy ..Life skills are also lacking . which I am slowly learning
Hope that helps?? I love you Riri and hope your day is sunshiny .. i just got back from the store..
Some days I find it hard to see the safe place or hear the birds but I do the best I can on those days..
xoxox
Hope you feel better Riri. you are a beautiful soul!
<3
Joy
Thanks Joy. Thank you for your availability and taking the time to respond. God bless you.
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Riri you are welcome : thank you for being such a wonderful loving friend . I feel your little girl is surely alive . I hear her through you all the time . you are special .. remember that Riri.
ReplyDeletelove you
Gentle hugs (if ok)
Joy
ps Riri about someone being so kind and yet so mean.. sounds like the definition of a psycho-path..maybe need to look that up . I learned it recently . they are so so good on the outside but very bad inside. .they put up such a beautiful front but behind the doors and away from public view they are mean terrible people. .
ReplyDeleteYou don't deserve those people in your life. .like i dont .
love you
joy
You see me. Thank you for seeing me. My heart is so full of mixed emotions right now. Your observation helps me realize that I continue to let individuals in my life who don't see me. This is how I felt when I cried for help, cried because of the abuse and no one acknowledged me, not even as being human. So now as an adult I have to recognize these types of people, even family and not let them treat me like I'm invisible.I have to limit their presence in my life and even exclude them if necessary. I asked myself why did I send a message to this person this morning. And as I ask God to help me understand the confusion I was feeling I was led to my parents. My parents and grandparents were my constant abusers, yet they fed me, groomed my hair and took care of the everyday needs. So I felt like I had to show appreciation to them even though they were doing horrible things to me. And that's what happened this morning. I saw that he did such a good thing for a group of people and I felt like I had to give appreciation for that. I hope I'm not sounding confused.It gets so taxing trying to understand my own emotions sometimes..You have helped me today and have blessed me. The last days have been like a setback for me. I haven't even started my videos because I've been in so much back pain from stressful emotions. I don't like to cry, especially around my girls. I don't want to worry them.I don't want to burden you.I do thank you for your time. I hope the rest of your day is pleasant. I love you.
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Riri
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel. as I feel that way too. My family is abusive yet there is a little desire to connect with them, even if they are dysfunctional yet I cannot give into this desire even a little because if i do then i am putting myself out there to be abused..Recently I had let one relative back into my life. just a phone call and that was such a bad mistake. all it did was reopen all my wounds and left me so hurt and shaken. that I cried and cried.
Sometimes we have to tell ourselves, even if we dont believe it, that the best thing we can do for our abusers is to leave them..Somehow see it as a supreme act of charit to them to leave their lives .. Since I like to do good for others..this is the only way I can ease the pain of separation. .it will free me from all their abuse and will do them good as they will not be able to commit more abuse and thus put themselves into deeper yuck..
I have so much overwhelmedness going on in my mind that I called my school and asked to change a very hard class was scheduled to a lesser class..asking to save that class for somewhere near the end.
We have to know how much we can take .. I know it's hard for me to take care of me. . .I like to do for others but so little will I do for me. I am to the point that I have to listen to myself or am going to become too broken .and not be fixable. ..
Maybe if your girls see you cry they wont be afraid to cry when they are hurt or sad..? I grew up thinking I couldnt cry . .I have so much built up inside me from not crying..
I am sure i will have a good day . I have a little r/r now that I rescheduled a different class.
xoxo
Joy
My girls come to me with all their sorrows and cry.We laugh and dance together. God have given us such a special bond. It's just me who feel like I always have to be strong. I know it comes from me always having to take care of me, even as a little girl I was so lost but still trying to figure out what was happening to me. I found out I had no room to cry. No time to figure out what caused this pain before another one would strike. So the me, the woman and mother I am now cries in private. I tell them that I cry alone. I don't want them to feel like they have to take care of me like I felt I had to take care of mother, satisfy her husband when she couldn't. Thank you Joy for sharing with me. There is so much confirmation in your conversation with me. Letting go of the emotional abusers is helping them also. God has been showing me this for a while now...I'm happy that you got your class schedule like you desire. Thank you once again for being a friend to me.
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Riri am lost at times too..right now am in the process of trying to find who I am really. its hard to sort through things that have been so much a part of one's life for so long.. you are such a thoughtful caring person Riri. I hope in time you find all you are looking for. .. you deserve it . you suffered enough..now its time for Riri to just relax and unwind.. I wonder, Ririr . .maybe we just need to learn to be who we are now? instead of trying to find what we lost or never got.. maybe we just need to learn to dance and live with our brokenness ? I dont know perhaps it will be good for me to talk to about with T..
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Joy
Joy I feel the same way, maybe we just need to learn to dance and live with our brokenness. For me the brokenness is the lost of being her. And I believe from this brokenness another person is born. I feel that learning to live with what happened will make the new birth experience even more unique and beautiful and the world, every place we set our feet on, will be blessed because God has worked all things together for our good. We are His daughters Joy. That's who we are. We belong to The God of heaven and earth. We are Divine. We are our Heavenly Father's daughters. What a great identity we have...Joy you are wonderful and very wise I may say. :)) You can hug me any day because all I feel from you is the wonderful energy of love. I'm going to hold on to this moment right now and snuggle up to it. So much love. Thank you God. Thank you Joy.
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Riri..
ReplyDeleteThis is so true what you say ..the rebirth with what we are .. not what we could have been ..as that is not something we can make come back.. somehow I think we must learn to be who we are be we can in the present where we are.. Me being little me in a big world is pretty tough stuff as I tire of the normal adult talk .. I don't tire of talking to you or to T .. feel happy knowing you are happy.. Hope you sleep well and snuggle up all the love God gives.. which is unending;) than you for sharing back.
Joy