Diagnosis

When they told me my diagnosis I thought that I would die
Tears were building up: I was trying not to cry
How could I have such an illness: I do so very much
I'm needing some inner courage and an understanding touch

Walking within a daze I was arguing with my  mind
What will I be able to do: considering this new find
Struggling for some solace; I felt the dark of night
Until a voice from Heaven told me "all will be alright"

Illness is not a death sentence its just an open door
Through which one must enter and continue to explore
Everything may be challenging but not an impossibility
Life will continue as a blessing, despite my infirmity.

Therapy

Though others may have hurt you; and you're feeling all alone
I'll be here, beside you, to help you heal from what you've known
Put your trust in  what I'm saying: I won't ever be like the rest
I'm not ever going to hurt you; or put your through any test.

I know of all  your suffering and of all the pain within:
I won't begin the process until you say  we can begin
You'll have all the freedom of sharing or saying "no"
This is your time for healing: your  time for letting go.

I know you may be thinking: how terrible this must be
To have to seek out couseling and be in therapy
But this won't be so burdensome; and you will come to see
That therapy is just a chit chat between both you and me.

When I really want to cry....

Please don't ask me to smile when I really want to cry
When the clouds have been  invading every inch of my blue sky
I am not into being unreal or into the masking of what is here
Sometimes the storms have been strong and my soul is full of fear

I cannot seem to please those who keep saying  "push it all away"
For the reality is quite evident: some things just have to  stay
There are going to be sunshine moments and the sad ones too
Each has their own emotion which we will all have to pass through

So think about it the next time you're really wanting  cry
Don't do yourself a disservice; don't let graces pass you by
For tears are like the sweetest  music that soothes away the pain
And everything is so much better once sparkling with fresh  rain..

Invitation from your heart

Listen deeply, to the whisperings within your fragile heart
Sighs are echoing and do not show signs that they will depart
You have created  a whirlwind from  the things you have to do
Yet your body is breaking and weakening: it's all because of you

Is there anything so important that you would compromise your health
After all, there are many different kinds of riches and wealth.
You could have everything and your life might appear to be a success
But lacking a foundation such things are but a pile of emptiness.

There are other treasures one should always be seeking and striving for.
Once you have them you won't be desiring and reaching out for more
They will be everything you thought you were needing from the things outside
But unlike the wordly treasures they're never going to sour your soul inside

.

How wonderful to see

Gently falls the sunlight upon the waking earth
A new day is beginning: the universe gives birth
To the new born beauty that rises with each day
How wonderful to see the universe in this way

Carefully the wind whispers its messages from above
And all creation echoes: "Universal is God's love"
Nothing would there be if the eternal didn't breathe
The breath of life within us: which daily we receive

Everything around us is a miracle for us to see
From the tiniest little seedling to the greatest tree
Nothing remains in silence: for everything has a voice
To give God the glory : our privilege and our choice.

The boy nobody helped

Born into a family where yelling was routine
His mother was most violent: with words ever mean
Eyes always swollen when arriving at school
Other kids jeered at him: he looked like a fool.

Always so hesitant when invited to play
Whenever school ended he wanted to stay
Tears began falling when the bus drove away
And brought him back home at the end of the day

Nobody ever questioned him or even asked why
The sight of the school bus caused him to cry
They simply kept silent although everyone knew
Something was wrong but  what could they do ?

Where is that little boy now fast forward today
Is he out drinking or in a long prison stay
What could have been done while he was a child
Could it have prevented him from becoming so wild?

Inner Struggle

Today my soul is troubled I find it hard to write
Confusion from the enemy has blocked my inner light
Scrambling around within me I look for words to say
As the quiet star of morning heats up the newborn day

Slowly a breeze from Heaven is able to get inside
And touches all the wounds that I so carefully hide
Soothing away the sores embedded throughout the years
The spirit invites me to weep and freely shed my tears.

There is no shame in crying; in letting the emotions free.
For it's likes a cloud releasing its raindrops over the sea.
By way of the flowing waters;  will exit all those fears
And all the many sorrows: hidden throughout those years

The unscupulous mind

The truth will come out so don't hide it inside
Honesty will protect you like a shield by your side
Hiding your reality may buy you some delay
But sooner or later your truth will display.

Some have the habit of twisting things around
Sincerity is lost, no truth can be found
Conscience is buried beneath all the lie
How can you  stop it if you don't even try?

How many more people will end up being hurt
By the person who puts on dishonesty's shirt
Appearing as cordial and  overly kind
The liar is the owner of the unscrupulous mind

We don't need applause

Though we may not make the front page
or hold a Phd
Though others may not applaud us
or seek our company
We find comfort and solace knowing
our angels record for You
The many hidden kindnesses
for others we may do..

Though others may be chosen
and we may never be
Though our work seems to be foolish
by all the Powers that be
We find our peace in knowing
our angels speak to you
Of all the things unnoticed
yes everything we do.

Speak to me softly

Speak to me softly and without any lye
Tell me the things that won't make Heaven cry
Walk with me sincerely and without a parade
Answer without pretense or any sharade

Tell me the stories that happily end
Reach out your hand and be my true friend
Only create promises you're able to keep
Share with me mysteries ever so deep.

Sing to me melodies that help me to see
The infinite happiness waiting for me.
Keep from me gossip and actions unkind
Lead me on paths that give peace to my mind

Someone understands

I feel all your pain even though you might be so very far
And though you feel rejected I see how beautiful you really are
Don't let another pull you down into some ugly scary space
You are precious and valuable though you are feeling out of place

I understand you: that you have those moments that you need to cry
So don't be afraid to let those tear drops fall: like rain from the sky.
It's all healing to let out those broken feelings from deep inside
Whatever is burdensome needs to be released; let it all go outside.

So tell me, now:  how are you feeling that you are letting it all go?
Every bit of it needs to be released so that you may able to grow.
It may be painful to let go of what is so very familiar to you;
But you are worth the change that will happen once you are able to .

The changing of seasons

The flowers are disappearing  and leaves begin to fall
Autumn winds are humming and from a distance they do call
Soon the lively sounds that are echooing through the air
Will be silenced by the colors announcing: Fall is everywhere

With the changing of seasons many creatures will depart
And the chilly winds  will make sure winter has her start
Mother earth will put away her garments from the summer stay
And dress herself more somberly until the winter passes away

Have you ever noticed what happens when all the seasons collide:
How the universe is adjusting with the busy winds outside?
Are there things inside you that are also having to adjust?
With the changing of seasons adapting becomes a must .

Outside my window ...(s.o.s)

They say you should find beauty in everything
no matter how small it may seem
But I'm finding it  hard to find it in
whats outside my window and green
It's round and full of filth and slime:
breeding nasty stuff I'm sure
And for the largest mosquitos in  town
it's becoming a  successful lure.

If I ever have to make a jump;
were a fire to  break out over here:
I'd be afraid of where I might land:
the contents inside it I fear
It's nasty looking and awfully green:
with foul smelling  stuff inside;
O my Jesus please remove it now
so much beauty it's able to hide.

If Today

If today you saw somwone weeping,
would you stop to show your care
If you saw another person broken;
would you have some time to spare?
Would you take the time to listen
to what another may want to say?
If today your help was needed;
would you extend it in some way?

If today you won the lottery;
would you be willing to share?
Would you take into consideration
the many who are needing care?
Would you be willing to give a little
for those who are really poor
If today you fell into money
would you share it out some more?

If today you were being slighted
and made a fool by all
Would you be able to forgive them
and show them you aren't so small?
Would you even be willing to  help out
the enemy in his or her need
If today you were called to be generous
Would you be tempted to greed?

IF today you are reading this poem
and it is saying something to you;
Will you act upon the inspiration
what would you be willing to do?
Would you be willing to set out
with your eyes open and ready to see
If today someone was really needy
would you show your generosity?

In the arms of my Blessed Savior

In the arms of my Blessed Savior I'm as safe as I can ever be
For in the arms of my blessed Jesus no evil can ever lay hold of me
Storms  may shake me and unground me; but on this I can always depend
Jesus will be there to ever support me; His love for me will never end

In the arms of my Blessed Savior I have found some quiet rest
 He has taken away all my worries and allowed me to be His  special guest
Oh how tenderly and how warmly, my Jesus holds me in His heart
Would that I could stay here forever; and from His graces never depart

In the arms of my Blessed Savior I hope that I shall one day die
And then be taken to that Mansion way beyond our earthly sky
I wouldn't even try to stay here if I heard Him calling out to me
My life on earth is but a journey to the One who is both One and Three

So much beauty around us

There is so much beauty around us, so much wonder to see
Creation is waking us up with such a beautiful symphony
Creatures of every kind are welcoming the brand new day:
How I wish I could interpret everything that it has to say.

Across the sky is stretching out a fluffy quiet cloud
Flowers are also singing out; but really aren't too loud
The universe is dressing up with all her very best
Can you hear the whispering wind waking from its rest?

With the early morning rush and so much happening each day
It's possible to miss all the beauty that's sprinkled along our way
So one must make the extra effort to create  some special place
For encountering all the universe: with all its natural grace.

What others can't see

Instead of getting better it worsens every day
This illness and this pain; it won't seem to go away
I try to keep on smiling to hide what's deep within
But, no matter how I try, the wounds show up again.

I want to be doing everything but must face reality
That I will carry in my being this constant infirmity
Though others cannot see it; it's so much apart of me
If only it would be gentler and allow me to be free

Tears would fall less frequently; I wouldn't have to hide
From the world and all the laughter going on outside
But I must  walk a captive as I try to live each day
Hoping that my brokenness wont keep getting in my way.

Yesterday's Memories

Yesterday's memories are still a part of me
All the pain and the hurt, and all the misery
So much of the past is still present deep within
I need to be healed, so that my new life can begin.

Today is a new day: yesterday is the past
Yet the trauma lingers on, in the shadows that it cast
Many who are unthinking will say: Just  let it go
But the wounds deep inside have a process that is slow

As long as they keep appearing, I cannot fully see
The  potential that the present has in store for me
So I will keep on trying to sort this stuff inside
And remember much is hidden from all the world outside.

Time to awaken

Quiet spirits are gently whispering:  time to greet the day;
Rise oh creatures from your slumber: listen to what we say.
The Eternal Father,Who gives you being, is so happy to hear
Songs of praise and hymns of gladness: these to Him are dear.

Why not start each day you awaken with a hymn of praise
For the One who is your  creator and grants you all your days
Words unspoken, from deep within you, are the best to give
To the One, who never ceases, to give you all you need to live

Gentle spirits of the universe are helping us along the way
To find the beauty of each moment in everything they display
So much wonder and so much wisdom is waiting for us today
Will we hear the Eternal messages creation will try to relay

Another morning opens up

The heavens are  happily smiling and all creation too
Another morning opens up and invites us to pass through
The breezes are gently waking up every thing that is around
The universe joins together to create a joyful sound.

The cicadas are busy buzzing for the summer is soon to end
Birds are carefully hopping around the branches as they bend
The insects of the summer are making ready to depart
The Autumn days are coming soon, I can hear them in my heart

What a beautiful masterpiece:  laid out before our eyes
The universe is so beautiful and so are the lofty skies
There is so much for us to see;  so much Eternal love
Everything that's beautiful comes from the Heavens above.

Thoughts for the journey

Breathe in the breath of God that opens up each day
Exhale all the bad thoughts that are getting in the way
Open up to the beauty of the universe outside
Let the wisdom of the Eternal One instruct you from inside

Quiet down all the noises that are burdening your mind
Contemplate the meaning of all the mysteries that you find
Speak only to the listeners who will not create a lie
Gather in all the graces that may be passing you  by.

Be grateful for the little things, grateful as can be
When handing out your kindnesses, don't do so boastfully
Heavenly angels are watching over all we do and say
Be aware of what your actions do, each and every day

Angel Spirits

Can you hear them,can you see them, angel spirits everywhere
Whispering to us, watching over us: showing us angelic care
Every one of them in silence carrying messages of God's love
Never failing to assist us angel guardians from above.

Can you hear them, can you see them, angels spirits all around
Unlike humans they look different in good actions they are found
Angel beings, unassuming,  they assist us in our need
Before we call out or go seeking they are ready to intercede.

Can you hear them, can you see them, with your spirit eyes inside
Angel spirits ever present though  they often tend to hide.
Trust them always and they'll always be with you to the end
Angel spirits, guardian spirits:  on their help we can depend.

I see you there....

I see you there, you're weeping, all your pain has come outside
I feel inside me: your sorrows, and all your brokenness inside
Don't be afraid of sharing with me, for I will listen so carefully
By letting out all those worries, you can finally be set free.

I see you there, you're hiding, you're afraid of all the rest
You feel you've been a failure, though you given the world your best
Don't be afraid of talking; of letting all those feelings outside
With me you don't ever have to worry, I'll keep your secrets inside

I see you there, you're responding, you're ready to talk and share
Know that you are so precious, and deserving of the greatest care
Don't be afraid of exploring that world that's deep inside of you
For then you can truly discover, what it is you are suppose to do.

The healer within you

Deep down inside your being, far deeper than you can see
Is your own inner healer, your own sea of tranquility
But you must be willing to enter it and there so remain
Until the river that moves within you  carries away your pain

Sometimes the world around you is quick to crowd you with noise
But you can find your oasis if you but follow the spirit's voice
By closing your eyes to the moment and quieting down your will
You'll begin to feel the healing that moves when you are still

Shut down all your frazzled emotions, and shut off that hostility
Let the gentle spirit calm your being and then you can become free
Soon you'll be back in your balance and  back to that tranquility
Surrender to the healer within you and then see what will come to be.

Do my feelings matter?

Do my feelings matter, do you understand how you made me feel
Can I cry right now, or are my emotions out of place, not really real?
Am I not a person, who has some things going on right now inside?
Why do you seem surprised, when I share with you the things I use to hide?

It is a sign that I trust you, when I let down all the walls I had built up
And it's no small thing, when I  have courage to drink something from your cup
If you really love me, then you will accept the struggles going on inside of me
And know that only those I love,  get the closest glimpse of my reality.

So please forgive me when the days are stormy and I'm drenched with rain
And I give into weakness and allow myself a moment to cry out in pain
I am truly alive now and coming into a stage I never would go looking for
So I am needing your support now more than I ever had needed it before

My dream

My Dream : Is that some day I can reach everyone with one messag: perhaps through writing; and that message is:  we are all brothers and sisters .. we are all one . one with each other. one with mother earth one with the divine.. and when we are one as we should be: peace will rule .. its when we pull away from this one-ness. with each other , with the earth, the Divine that we have so much trouble . more important than fame and more powerful than money is the love that we we created for and from ...as long as we remain in this : love .. all things will be well. .even in our absolute poverty and illness and apparent suffering..love will keep us moving forward.. even if inch by inch.

© joy

We are all brothers and sister

The Heavens are bitterly crying and earth has become still
The universe is awaking beneath the Great One's Eternal Will
All creation is being moistened by the showers from above
Mother earth is gently whispering "dear children, we must love"

With all the things we're seeking: running here and running there.
DO you think we're losing the ability to love or even care?
While some may have their billions; there are others without a cent
How come there's such an imbalance; how is our  money spent?

Do we need an intercessor to remind us of who we are?
We are all brothers and sisters though some are very far
How can  we continue to avoid them; those who are so  needy?
Mother earth keeps on asking: "dear children don't be so greedy".

Taking some moments

Sleep has released us and the morning star is out
All the creatures of the universe are romping about
Gentle winds are whispering the sound of God's love
The whole of creation reaches for Heaven above

Sun beams are dancing and brighteing my room
Out the window there are flowers who are trying to bloom
Insects are humming and lining up in parade
How wonderfully mother earth has her beauty displayed.

Taking some moments to be quiet and to be still
Allows one to synchronize with the Almighty One's will
Looking  past the horizon and into the Divine
Enables one to see  the the universe is God's shrine

Courage to hope

There is not a single person who hasn't ever known a sorrow
Who hasn't gone to bed with some concerns  about tomorrow
So do not feel you're different because you're knowing pain
Keep your spirit hopeful, and don't melt beneath the rain.

Yes your day is trying and some things are going wrong
But this won't last forever it'll change before too long
Just don't let all the setbacks hold you captive or in fear
For your exit from  this nonsense is drawing very near.

Today can become a new start of something so very new
For though the troubles linger there's change inside of you
The uncertainty of not knowing may not ever go away
But you can change the outlook and it can start today.

A little girl cries

I was looking at my mommy and she was angry as can be
With the belt she kept swinging, making bruises over me
I don't know why she was hitting me ; but I was awfully sore
I whispered don't you love me, don't you love me any more?

My tears were falling quickly as I tried to walk away
But My mom wouldn't let me she asked what I tried to say
I didnt have the courage to speak of love to her no more
So she yelled about the belt being all I was looking for.

What PTSD is like

Moments there are when you feel all alone
Feelings and frustration are all overgrown
Stuck in a period that others can't see
Held captive by memories called  PTSD.

The flashes of yesterday become like today
Traumas from the past simply won't go away
Trying to move forward but stuck in reverse
Symptoms are rising: they keep getting worse.

Others dismiss you:  you're losing your mind
They tell you to forget it and leave it behind
Frazzled and frustrated they question you why
You keep on going backward and don't even try.

PTSD is truly something  terrible to see
But becoming its victim is hard as can be
FOr though you are trying  to let it all go
Trauma works against you : its departure is slow

Storms in the night

The night brought in its storm clouds and the winds shook up the place
For a while eveything was invisible as darkness filled up every space
The lightning became most violent and windows echoed back the rain.
Mother earth seemed to be weeping while  the universe appeared in pain.

Trees were bowing so quickly as the storm winds were raging around
The view was one of surrender as angry clouds continued to sound
There's always a sense of uncertainty with every storm that passes by
One cannot  help but wonder why  Heaven chooses to weep and cry.

Now the earth is sitting silently  and the storm clouds have gone  away
Everything seems so different with the approaching light of day
The trees are  sparkling nicely while the sun dries  all  the rain
All creation is slowly awaking and smiles despite her night of pain.

Each new day

Slowly breaking open the universe lets out a morning song
She's waking up her family who has been asleep for too long
Mother earth is gently smiling as the flowers begin to sing
Letting out all  their beauty, their fragrance touches everything

Tiny droplets of the morning dance about and moisten all
The winds begin to whisper and  shouts out a wake up call
Creatures of every kind are slowly beginning  to jump around
All creation assembles together and sweet music begins to sound

Melodies from every tree top slowly begin to fill the air
While  butterflies and bees are flying around without a  care
The universe draws her curtain and her beauty begins to display
There is so  much to be seen at the start of each new day.

Our Destiny

Life is so very short and we must value every minute
We don't  create our destiny  we are simply in it
Day by day we travel through the moments of every day
Would that we would measure everything we do and say

The universe is moving toward an end that is Divine
With it we can be traveling or we can choose to decline
Created for the Eternal we must never choose to cling
To that which is so finite and will end with everything

Life is just a passage way that we are going through
WE can  do so lovingly or be hateful in all we do
Our moments are quickly leading us to our our final minute
Will we live out our destiny or waste the time we're in it?

As children we cried

This is a letter to those born after that time
Which anchors my heart and inspires this rhyme.
Before you were born before you saw the light
Some of us struggled and were living in fright

We didnt have sweetness or tender loving care
But rather we were beaten and work was our share
And though we were children we lived in great fear
The belt and the hand brought punishments near

You judged us as ungrateful, as running away
If you were mistreated, how long would you stay?
The difference between us is who was around..
You had your father,but ours couldn't be found.

During our childhood, we were taken away
In houses of strangers we were made to  stay
Because of what happened, things you never knew;
We walk around wounded and misjudged by you

Instead of condemning and thinking us aloof
Read  all the history and there'll you find proof
That we knew the struggles and we knew the fright
We were beaten badly  long before you  saw light.

Rumors of stormy weather

Clouds are slowly gathering: ready to create some sound
The creatures are in hiding, not one of them is around
Rumors of stormy weather have been passed along the way
None of the earth's children are wanting to come out and play.

The silence before the storm is echoing through the air
Trees are bracing strongly as winds whistle everywhere
Sprinkles of the first shower are slowly beginning  to fall
Lightning begins to dance and creates spectacles for all.

Skies begin to rumble as the clouds start to collide
Everything  begins to shake beneath the winds outside
The storm so long expected has finally shown its face
Things are flying everywhere nothing remains in place.

Little tear drops

Little tear drops are falling from my sleepy eyes
As angry clouds are filling up my peaceful skies
Digging deep, I'm reaching out  for my secret space
Where calming angels wait to take me into their embrace

Flashing lightning is dancing everywhere around
While voices like thunder are creating a scary sound
Seeking the calm, I find chaos is taking over everything
My little world is tossed about by all that's happening


Wait for me as I try to pick up what has fallen down
Angry winds have left everything strewn everywhere around.
Piece by piece I'm trying to pick up what is broken up inside
It's not good when the storm is carrying in the stuff from outside.

I was the quiet one

I was the quiet one the one who'd never told
I carried my secret scars  that have become old
Things were being done to me  when I was quite  small
Others were speaking out and  I kept hiding all

Afraid of displeasing the good God above
I kept all in silence to show Him my love
So broken up and beaten; I kept all inside
Because I was instructed: saints never cried.

Once I confided to a priest all my hurt
 I left feeling humbled: lower than dirt
So never again did  I willingly share
Till new hurts reopened what was hidden with care.

Why did you hit me

Why did you hit me and why did you hate me; can you even begin to  tell me why?
Why did you feel it necessary to hurt me; why did I daily walk to school and cry?
I was just a  small child unable to fight back;  my tears were my only defense
Can you respond now that I am asking; can you make all these memories make sense


Do you remember how frightened you made me; how I feared to even come in
Whenever you called me with angry intentions; my coughing and panic would begin
I cannot understand it, even this moment: why a mother would ever hurt me so
But I somehow felt, deep down inside me; that perhaps some day, you'd let me know

I struggle with things attached to my learning and thought you'd might like to know
That all of those beatings, that I had experienced: have affected my ability to grow
If for a moment you will take time to ponder and speak freely to the good God above
Perhaps He will tell you to  answer inside you why you refused me a motherly love?