These feelings

Should I be feeling guilty for all of these feelings deep inside
All these emotions and this rawness which I was suppose to hide
Nothing of what has happened was ever caused because of me
So why do I feel like the prisoner of my own personal tragedy

Could it be because that for so long I have had to keep it inside
That those who were closest to me tried to cover it up in  pride
Why was it that it was to be hidden and never spoken of outside
What kind of God would be rejoicing in his children being denied?

In the name of the most holy trinity my suffering was encouraged
Letting out of any of my secrets was so dogmatically discouraged
Sanctity and suffering   was something taught to one and all
While  "holy mother church" kept sanctioning the abuse of the very small