I won't be silent...

When someone tells me you shouldn't think about that .. that which happened to you .it really hurts me...You know sometimes it flashes before me.. my history..the hurts.. they come uninvited the memories. Really, should I pretend like everything was okay when it wasn't .. should I pretend that today none of the scars hurt.. that would be foolishness.. Many, in order to hush me up, simply block me from their lives ..but that's okay . .You know why? Because the ones blocking me were also the ones who saw and kept silent or who knew and pretended not to..

I encourage everyone who has been hurt to cry out and let it be known ..Don't hold it in.. Holding it in has hurt me so much.. Some how I was taught and I gobbled it up .. that saints suffer in silence.. They were made out to be my heroes..the people that were going through great suffering and never complaining..

No one ever told me that this type of suffering in silence as a little child was digging a big gaping wound inside me that would hurt me for the rest of my life.. What kind of God delights in seeing people suffer..? Not the God I know now.. Perhaps that's why so many don't want to know me.. I found the God who loves to see people laugh and be happy.. The One who hugs the little ones and said "do not harm them" ..The One who loves all people no matter who or where they are: even the "sinner"

No child should ever have to ...

No child should ever have to whimper through the night
Be afraid of the shadows announcing parents are in sight
No little one should ever have to cower before another beating
Run away in his or her mind, be threatened into not speaking

What kind of a life would this be for a  tiny little child
Where parents are the bullies with punishments ever so wild
How could he or she be happy or find some time for a smile
If they've never known the "love you's" or the tenderness for a while....?

It isn't right to hear that another little child has died
Because of an abusive parent or the outrages multiplied
It's never okay to see that the hands and fists so strong
Were used against the little ones: what could they have done so wrong?

What kind of a life would this be for a tiny little  child
Where parents are the bullies with punishments ever so wild
How could he or she be happy or find some time for a smile
If they've never known the "love you's" or the tenderness for a while....?

Something inside me cringes at the bruises  I can still  see
On the many helpless children being treated so heartlessly
Perhaps its because I can understand it and because of my history
That my heart cries out "injustice"  at every child abuse case I see

What kind of a life would this be for a  tiny little child
Where parents are the bullies with punishments ever so wild
How could he or she be happy or find some time for a smile
If they've never known the "love you's" or the tenderness for a while....?

What are these bruises?.

Don't stay in an abusive situation


What are those bruises you have on your skin:
Shades of dark colors on your eyes and within?
Why is it you're limping and refusing to smile?
Come sit here and talk to me; rest here awhile..

Your glowing bright smile, has been turned upside down.
You walk with a stagger, as you go through the town.
Your friends, you once visited, have seen you no more:
You come into a gathering and you gaze at the floor....

You tell me..you're struggling.. to hide all that pain
The abuse and the torment are  creating such a strain
On your efforts to manage your day to day life
You've become someone's victim instead of his wife

The doors, here,  are wide open to receive you away
From the outrage and tempers that happen each day
But you have to be ready and  willing to leave
You're not that poor helpless one: you have to believe...

Call for help:

1-800-799-7233

http://www.thehotline.org/

Flashbacks...

I am feeling, right now, a little bit broken
Holding on to so many of my words, yet, unspoken
Just swimming around inside of each moment
Like a lost little  fish inside of a big  ocean..

I cannot seem to be making my way through it
All of this  fogginess inside of me and my spirit
These memories and flash backs tend to inhibit
And make me more unsure and much more incoherent...

So this wounded-ness in me is needing some healing
But this is not something new  that my soul is revealing...
Though the process may not seem to me..so very appealing
The remedy is found in everything I'm concealing...

For You have given me all these things...

For the sun that warms us all and for the moon that shines at night
I will raise my voice to You, Lord and be grateful in Your sight
For the tiniest little flowers and for the skies so bright and blue
Lord I will raise my hands in worship and speak  my praise to You

For You have given me all these things
And You are the reason that my heart sings
Nothing great or nothing small
Can ever change Your Love at all...

In the night when all is calm or in the day with all the noise
I will allow  my thankful spirit sound out its inner voice
For though the storm may gather round me or the sun be out all day
My heart will be ever thankful: saying thank You in every way

For You have given me all these things
And You are the reason that my heart sings
Nothing great or nothing small
Can ever change Your Love at all...

When around the table we gather and when we serve the food to eat
I will recall You my Great Provider and reserve for You a seat
For in the laughter and in the crying,  in the sharing and in the trying:
You O Lord have been ever present with Your Graces multiplying..

For You have given me all these things
And You are the reason my heart sings
Nothing great or nothing small
Can ever change Your Love at all...


Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers here. .love and light to all!

How the rain feels inside...

I hear the rhythmic sound of rain falling upon the ground
How soothing and refreshing is this pitter-pattering sound
The skies are dark and grayish and the clouds cover up the sun
But all the world's a beneficiary of this splashing that is done

I see the scampering squirrels running about the pouring rain
Nothing about this downpour seems to be causing them any pain..
Rather they seem so playful and they're jumping about with grace
I wonder what they're thinking as they scamper from place to place?

Only we can choose our actions on a day that's rainy like this..
We can choose to see the cloudiness or experience it like a kiss
Given us from the Heavens and touching our souls  inside....
The beauty of each moment is not dependent on the world outside..

Did you know

Did you know every person who visits this page to read is remembered in my daily prayer . .You are dear and treasured and valued; not because you read the poetry but because your energy and presence tells me you need to hear this.. If ever you need a reminder of how important you are.. send me an email: I remind you.. Times get tough, I know it. .Holidays are tough times for survivors.

Guess what..?  You and I and everyone who has known some sorrow will get through it..You are valued and loved and special to me.. And if you don't find life hard.. reach out to someone who does...We are all one big enormous being of life ..though individual we are part of a whole . .when one cries ..we all feel it somehow .. even if we don't know it....

Even the plants and creatures and elements suffer when we suffer.. would that we could be so sensitive to one another..

What's this weeping...?

Tender tear drops falling down
Splashing upon the Autumn ground
Angels spirits  all around
Awed by all this rhythmic sound

What's this weeping we do hear
Hidden secrets from far and near
Old and young ones: yes it's clear
Someone's aching: we're right here

Break the silence, shout out loud
A gathering of the Heavens crowd
Exposing hurts the heart must shroud
True confessing of wrongs allowed

Who will stop them all these tears
Wipe away the sorrows and fears
Gathering deep for so many years
Who will help us, join our peers?

If you cannot show me love....

Don't preach to me of holiness if you cannot show me your love
Don't  tell me you're a Christian and then sadden the Heavens above
So much time and so much money is wasted in  so many spaces
Where people gather to sing and shout but aren't anywhere in God's graces

With all of the churches and all of the temples all over the road we trod
You'd think we'd see the transforming effect of a people in love with a God
But instead we're seeing the rivalry effect of those who are claiming to  believe
And the majority of these, the believing ones, have people they won't receive

It all so very confusing, you know: the messages they're willing to share:
The love of neighbor, the love of enemies and the "love" is everywhere....
But let there come the lesbian  one the gay one  or even  the "freak"
And the love of God of which they preach is silenced: they cannot speak...

It's getting quite late...

If you close your eyes and pretend you don't hear
Do you think it will vanish and just disappear?
And because you deny it  the heartbreaking disgrace
Does it mean it'll be gone from your conscience's space

What is it you're thinking as you brush  it aside
How do you keep hiding it: the wrongness inside
The denial, the damning  of  the truths you won't see
Is creating the bruises that will affect  humanity

So drop down those pretentions those walls that you build
That keep out the orphans and the people you killed
With your hatreds and prejudices and burdens so great
There's still time for changing but it's getting quite late..

With my lips colored red

Please be aware of the children around you ..


Did you not know it and  could you not feel:
My brokenness inside me: how much it was real?
Yet, you'd paid me no heed and  you'd beat me up more
My poor little body was so bruised up and sore

To school I'd be running with my lips colored red
Not because of some lipstick but a slapping instead
My teachers, all looking, and shaking their head
Would ask me about "falling"  and how much I had bled...

There was something inside me, that kept it inside.
The lashings,  the abuses: I would carefully hide
Though a sibling or other would speak it out loud
My complaints were a whisper: away from the crowd.

i can only be me

It's the best I can do .. is be me...For many years I tried to be something everyone wanted... How did that work out? It didn't.. I failed to make everyone happy and surely, I couldn't be happy.. as it wasn't me.  it was who I thought I had to be.. It was a terrible struggle..lots of acrobats.. Why was I trying so hard? Well, seems that's how we are brought up: trying to impress..Trying to be the best..Very rare you hear: "just be you" ..Instead " why didn't you do this " Why didn't you do that" "you should have done..". Our world is all about competing.. so if we are always in a race trying to outdo the other.. we have no time just trying to be ourselves .. no time to enjoy our own uniqueness and own individuality...It's really a break through. Stepping outside the idea that I have to compete or be better than this person or that.  I only need be better than myself when  I am at my worst. When I am at my best. I am there...

Who we are...

We cannot erase a single part of our own history
Though we may deny it and pretend that we cannot see
How much it is a part of us, and our own reality;
It remains as it is : our own path and our own destiny

There may be parts of it we won't want to linger in
When the memories come out and start to replay again
But the strongest of the voices from way back when
Will speak out the loudest about everything that has been

So we must take notice of these visitors from the past
How long they will linger and how long they will last..
What is their message and what do they continue to blast
In the secret recesses of our own inescapable past..?

Once we have heard them and know  what they are saying
We can react to them and everything they keep replaying
Is it some sore spot, some reason for our delaying
Our lives and our actions and  our spirit's portraying

How special you are

Don't you really know it; and can't you really see
How much of a special miracle you just happen to be
Everything there is about you and everything  you do
Is a sign of grace transacting the life of God in you?

The fingernails and the fingers; the mouth and ready smile
Are all imprints of that Wisdom that has sat with you a while
Your willingness to give and your ever eagerness to do
Is a peek into that Eternity that is shining out through you

You are that precious being and you are that spark of grace
And everywhere you go will become such a better place
For you are a special ambassador a child of lasting love
You are the breath of Eternity and the helper of God above

Bird talk

At a reasonable distance a crow has been singing
And though she wont ever be a crystal that's  clinging
Her song is so beautiful and  her song is of peace
She's singing her heart out: oh what a release.

In a pine tree that's waving or by some open window
The sparrows have been chirping about an old weeping willow
Their songs are much brighter and are also  much lighter
Than their sister, the crow; but they still will invite her:

To be part of their melody and to be part of their song
That carries the universe and the whole world along
Together they will  sing it: the healing song remedy
It speaks of true freedom and release from the enemy

Listen up

Oh the blue skies, the majestic trees and the mighty big breezes:
Each  of them is speaking out whatever the good God pleases
Whispering out and shouting out and displaying all of their emotion
The universe is  toppling over our Godlessness and false notion.

The Infinite One, the Eternal One, the Everlasting One:  Almighty
Is inviting us and challenging us to start making Him a Priority
Shaking up and spilling over   the mountains that are all about us
The Uncreated and the Creative One is stirring a catastrophic fuss.

Listen up and still yourselves and take notice of the new's cast
Tragedy and destructiveness are after this world that cannot last
Something in us will have to change or the universe will crumble
Who of us will be courageous enough to pick up the ones who stumble?

How special you are...

Did you ever really know how very special you are
You're higher than the mountains and brighter than a star
Above all of the universe and more precious than gold
Has anyone ever told you..  have you ever been told?

The personality that you carry and the eyes on your face
The beauty of your spirit  which the world can't erase
Your giving-ness and your being-ness below all of that skin
Is so  precious and so valued; can I tell you this again?

Every person and every being and everyone of us who breathes
Is a blessing and is a participant in the Spirit who believes
In our being and in our being-ness and in our willingness to be
We are, all of us,  partakers and the glow of the Divinity.

Oh the mercies of God

This heart in my body has known so much pain
Inside of my being , I have seen so much rain
The clouds and the storms: were everywhere around
My body was  bowed.  Beneath hurt it was bound..

Oh the mercies of God I have felt and I have known
The power of Divine Providence I have always been shown
In troubles and sorrows and in laughter and  cheer
The Eternal and Omnipotent has always been here...

But now I am jubilant and now I can know
These things I have experienced have helped me to grow.
These sorrows and celebrations,  these abandonments too:
All of them were God's blessings; I  know it is true.

Oh the mercies of God I have felt and I have known
The power of Divine Providence I have always been shown
In troubles and sorrows and in laughter and  cheer
The Eternal and Omnipotent has always been here...

So now, I will be singing and now I will rejoice
The mercies of God will resonate through my voice
I'll speak of my weakness and speak of God's strength
My spirit  and God's Spirit will determine the  length.

Oh the mercies of God I have felt and I have known
The power of Divine Providence I have always been shown
In troubles and sorrows and in laughter and  cheer
The Eternal and Omnipotent has always been here...

Keep up your peace now

Keep up your peace now
don't let anything ever discourage you
The world is just a temporary place
that each of us is just passing through
And the things that keep on challenging you
and upsetting the majority of us
Are not worthy of any of those moments
of our unrestrained and unchecked fuss

Hold onto your calmness now
and onto your courageous spirit of  tranquility
Though everything may be moving around you
with such a motion of apparent calamity
You are not that restlessness of energy
or  discouragement that you happen to  see
But rather you are  that hopefulness
and that delight of all of the Divinity.

Stay inside of your own aura now and
inside of  your own unblemished space of bliss
For though all the Heavens may light up
and all the world may  know of Satan's kiss
You will be protected from and shielded from
the worst that  there can ever be
For you are the  beloved one and you are
the sweetest child of the Deity..

Crinkly leaves beneath my feet

Crinkly leaves beneath my feet
Singing songs of Fall so sweet
Telling tales of where they've been
Whispering secrets deep within

Chillier breezes nip  at me
And whisper things that use to be
Sleeping now beneath their touch
Mother Earth who loves so much

Soon the snow will fall and lay
Sparkling blankets of wintry display
Crisp and cool and sparkling white
Soothing tones of frosty delight

Changing seasons set the tone
For the heart and for the home
Nothing lingers,  nothing stays
Constant change makes up our days

Oh the beauty of the silent mind....

Oh the beauty of the silent mind
Mysterious treasures it will find
Poetic phrases standing in line
To mix and mingle and form a rhyme

It goes unspoken and nobody knows
The powerful punch, the magnetic pulls
Of the  words enlivened by the mystic world:
Invisible encounters making the  poetic swirl..

Ah the appearance of the rhyming word
It seems to be echoing something  unheard
It challenges the reader to the ocean most deep
And surrounds it with the silences that will speak.

Golden leaves sail through the wind

Golden leaves sail through the wind
And touch my heart and soul within
Inspiring poetry and writing sprees
Words and wisdom are in  the breeze.

Angel spirits are  here and there
Sending secrets through the air
Challenging all to become aware
Hope and wonderment are everywhere.

Cooler weather and naked trees
Speak of things that everyone   sees
Autumn's  presence calling all
See the colors, the sights of Fall..?

What are you really waiting for....?

Right now is the time and right here is the place
This is the moment to make use of the grace
Delay is the enemy and promptness: the guide
Pick up that to do list and take it outside..

Shake off that slothfulness; embrace now the hour
Let all of the minutes experience your power
Resolve it within you and display it without
There isn't a moment  your actions don't shout

Today is the day for you and tomorrow awaits
Resolve and resolution will open up the gaits
The blessings, the promises, the happiness galore:
Are all at your doorstep: what are you really waiting for?

Far from all the arrogance...

Hidden in the unnoticeable-ness and far from all the arrogance
Is the Giver of all life and the Creator of all Intelligence
Shunning the most boastful and embracing the most humble
The Eternal One is the most open to the hearts that now crumble...

Not with the intellectual or even with the great ones
Does the Eternal Omnipotent come seeking any opinions
Something about the Greatness of this Infinite Almighty
That backs away from the fanfare and the media and notoriety.

The Infinite isn't in need of any approval or any rating.
For the  Heaven's aren't a place for the proud or the debating
In them the Everlasting is ever praising the Silent Giving
Of those who are on this earth to promote the fairest living..

Softly the morning is whispering to me...

Softly the morning is whispering to me:
Wake from your sleep now:  there's so much to see
Rise from your slumber and pull up the blind
See all the wonders and beauties you'll find

Enough with the sleep world and on to the real
Open up your windows and let your self feel
All of the breezes and the winds passing through:
Let all of the created world entertain you..

Hear how this universe is starting to rise
See all of the blueness: it's covering the skies
Ponder the sweetness and the tenderness too
Breathe in the Divinity in all that you do...

The soothing sound of rain

The clouds are hanging low and pouring down their rain
A steady stream of newness is watering all the plain
Soothing sounds of wholeness in every drop that falls
Creates a pitter patter: oh hear her as she calls?

The skies are colored gray and a darkness hangs around
Sombering sounds of rhythm are falling on the ground.
A soaking spurt of sprinkles is inebriating the earth
Thirsty grounds are opened: each droplet brings rebirth

O quiet down your spirit and still your busy-ness
Try to hear the whispers of every raindrop's kiss
Touch the sacred wonder of the sky who's weeping rain
Let her healing downpour relieve you of your pain...